1) I had no problems following those first paragraphs, and it seemed reasonable to assume Torchwood might not always pair Rose and Handy on the same missions. I wouldn't have gotten "first solo mission" out of that opening without you having said it later, but I don't think that's a critical distinction; it's enough that Rose knows Handy's been off doing something dangerous and that she was worried about him.
2) The conversation at the end is perfectly fine. In both this case and the previous one, it sounds to me like you're worried you're not providing enough information for the reader, but I think less is more here; anything longer than what you have would disrupt the story's flow.
... and from a purely non-beta perspective -- as I think I said in the comment I left on the kinkmeme, before I knew you'd written this: I don't know how you managed to hit so many of my kinks in this story, but you did. It is seriously, seriously hot.
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Date: 2010-09-18 02:14 pm (UTC)1) I had no problems following those first paragraphs, and it seemed reasonable to assume Torchwood might not always pair Rose and Handy on the same missions. I wouldn't have gotten "first solo mission" out of that opening without you having said it later, but I don't think that's a critical distinction; it's enough that Rose knows Handy's been off doing something dangerous and that she was worried about him.
2) The conversation at the end is perfectly fine. In both this case and the previous one, it sounds to me like you're worried you're not providing enough information for the reader, but I think less is more here; anything longer than what you have would disrupt the story's flow.
... and from a purely non-beta perspective -- as I think I said in the comment I left on the kinkmeme, before I knew you'd written this: I don't know how you managed to hit so many of my kinks in this story, but you did. It is seriously, seriously hot.